“Is it laziness or depression?” This is a question many parents ask themselves when their teenager spends long periods in isolation, withdraws from face-to-face interactions, or experiences an academic decline. They might withdraw into video games or online communities, stop doing their homework, or try to avoid school. But what’s the difference, and how do you know when to start worrying about your kid? 

It’s estimated that 5 million adolescents in the U.S. have experienced at least one major depressive episode. Depression, also called major depressive disorder (MDD), can lower your teen’s motivation in school and at home, which may look similar to your teen just being unmotivated. It can be challenging to determine whether their behavior stems from a desire for independence, burnout, a change in interests, or depression. In this blog post, we’ll share a few ways to tell the difference and how you can help your teen with their depression.

How to determine the cause of your teen’s behavior

There are many reasons why your teenager may start withdrawing from everyday life. Maybe they’re struggling in school and need help. Maybe they’re having trouble with friends and want to get away from the drama. They could just want to assert their independence as a young adult. Or, maybe, they’re dealing with depression and don’t know what else to do. Whatever the cause, asking the right questions can help you determine what the issue is and how to help them.

• Determine the source of their disinterest — If you’re wondering whether your teen’s behavior is something to worry about, you have to get to the heart of why they’re suddenly so unmotivated. When people think “lazy,” they often associate it with being unmotivated or lethargic. However, this lethargy can be a symptom of fatigue, which is present in about 90% of people with depression. Fatigue can also be a symptom of chronic illness, burnout from school pressures, or other physical or mental health conditions. So, if you’re not sure why your teen is acting uninterested or lethargic all of a sudden, ask them why. Their answer may help you determine the root cause of their lack of motivation.

• Look for other signs of depression — If your teen is suddenly acting lazy or unmotivated, that doesn’t automatically mean they have depression. Keep an eye out for other signs of major depressive disorder, such as:

• Consistent lack of motivation to participate in activities they previously enjoyed
• Significant changes in sleep or appetite
• Consistent avoidance of social interactions
• Trouble making academic progress or meeting academic goals, such as failing grades or little interest in schoolwork
• Negative self-talk, such as calling themselves names or expressing feelings of worthlessness
• Expression of suicidal thoughts
• Performing self-harming behaviors
• Trouble keeping up with personal hygiene or other daily tasks

While these behaviors don’t automatically mean your child has depression, they may be signs that they’re dealing with more than just “laziness.”

If your teen is exhibiting signs of depression, seek professional help for them immediately. The sooner they get treatment for their mental health condition, the less likely they are to have their symptoms worsen.

If you think they’re at risk of harming themselves or is experiencing suicidal thoughts or actions, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for immediate support.

How to help your teen with depression

Knowing your child has depression can be scary for a parent. If you haven’t dealt with depression yourself, you may not even know where to start. Here are a few ways you can help your teen learn to deal with their condition.

• Speak openly with them — It can be challenging to communicate with a sullen or closed-off teenager. They may try to tune out or shut down any conversations you have with them, but it’s important that you let them know you’re concerned about them. If you’re honest and open in your communications with them, they’re more likely to be honest with you, too.

• Seek outside help — If your child is dealing with depression, they will most likely need professional help, such as a therapist or school counselor. Encourage your teen to seek mental health treatment and help them find a therapist who fits their needs.

• Support them at home — While the support your teenager gets from their therapist is vital for their mental health, support from parents is also important. Some studies suggest that spending more time with parents can help decrease symptoms of depression in teens. Make sure your teen knows you’re a safe place for them to turn to when they need it.

Trying to help your teen who has depression can be challenging, but it’s important to support them and show them you’re there to help them through this time. 
Our team at Embrace U is here to offer support for your teen and your family via multiple levels of outpatient care. If your child requires further mental health support beyond their regular therapy sessions, contact our team today for more information or to schedule an initial appointment.