For many parents dealing with school avoidance, mornings can turn into daily battles. Your teen or preteen complains of stomachaches, headaches, or overwhelming anxiety about going to school. While occasional reluctance is normal, persistent refusal to attend school may be a sign of “school avoidance” (also called school refusal). Mental health issues such as anxiety and depression are often the cause of school avoidance, which not only impacts a student’s grades but also their family dynamics and relationships with fellow students. It can threaten their prospects of graduation and achieving goals as a young adult.
What Is School Avoidance?
School avoidance isn’t about laziness or defiance. It’s a complex emotional and behavioral challenge where a child feels unable to attend school due to emotional distress. A child may feel very uncomfortable when they go to school or think about going to school, so they do what evolution teaches them to do and avoid something that makes them scared. This distress often leads to missed classes, falling behind academically, and increased stress at home. School avoidance, or school refusal, can be tied to situational anxiety, according to experts at McClean Hospital.
Situational anxiety refers to the stress and emotional discomfort that arises in certain challenging or unfamiliar environments. While school refusal is not recognized as an official diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), it is often viewed as a symptom of other mental health conditions, such as:
- Social anxiety disorder
- Generalized anxiety disorder
- Depression
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Why School Avoidance Happens
School avoidance can look different from child to child, and the specific situation often influences how intense the reluctance becomes.
For younger children, it’s common to feel nervous about attending school for the first time. This is often tied to age-appropriate separation anxiety—worry about being away from parents or primary caregivers. Since starting school is a brand-new experience, children may also feel uneasy simply because they don’t know what to expect. In most cases, this hesitation fades quickly, and confidence grows with routine and familiarity.
However, if that reluctance doesn’t ease over time, a child may experience ongoing distress each time they are separated from their parents—even if they actually enjoy school once they’re there. How long this phase lasts often depends on the child’s age, maturity, and coping skills.
In older children and teens, school avoidance is more likely linked to specific fears or stressors within the school environment. These might include:
- Worries about bullying or negative peer interactions
- Anxiety triggered by news of school violence
- Pressure from academic performance or grades
Recognizing the underlying reasons for school avoidance is the first step in helping a child build the tools they need to feel safe, confident, and supported in returning to class.
Need Help with School Avoidance?
Embrace U’s trained therapists can help adolescents who are experiencing a mental health issue causing school avoidance. Our intensive outpatient programs typically help participants start feeling better in four to six weeks.
Reach out today by calling 833-733-4325 or filling out the Contact Us Form.
Common Causes of School Avoidance
School avoidance occurs in approximately 6% of all school-age children, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. Pre-teens, or children between the ages of 10 and 12, are more susceptible to school refusal, due to concerns about fitting in and not having developed the coping skills needed to handle some pressures of school life. While school refusal rates are equal among boys and girls, a study published by the Journal of School Psychology shows students who identify as LGBTQ+ reported higher rates of school avoidance than their heterosexual peers.
While every child’s situation is unique, school avoidance often stems from:
- Anxiety disorders – generalized anxiety, separation anxiety, or social anxiety
- Bullying or peer conflict – fear of negative interactions or exclusion
- Academic struggles – learning differences or fear of failure
- Mental health challenges – depression, trauma, adjustment issues
- Significant life changes – moving, divorce, death of a loved one
- Sensory sensitivities – difficulty coping with noisy or chaotic school environments
Signs Your Child May Be Avoiding School
Recognizing early warning signs can help prevent long-term academic and emotional setbacks:
- Frequent morning complaints of illness (headaches, stomachaches)
- Regular visits to the nurse or early dismissals
- Sudden drop in grades or missing assignments
- Irritability, tearfulness, or withdrawal
- Intense distress before or during school hours
- Excessive worry about performance, teachers, or peers
How Parents Can Help a Child with School Avoidance
“It’s important for both educators and families to be aware of the growing challenge of school avoidance since it has significant implications for children’s mental health and school dropout rates. If schools respond to absences with blame and punishment, it can make it even harder to partner with families to address the underlying reason for a student missing school. I know this from my own experiences with my son’s four years of school avoidance,” wrote Jayne Demsky, founder of the School Avoidance Alliance.
A study published by the National Library of Medicine states that more effort needs to be directed to the early recognition and treatment of school-avoiding behavior. Physicians should consider the possibility of mental illness. Rather than writing sick notes, which tend to sustain the problem, they should refer patients promptly to a child and adolescent psychiatrist or mental health program.
There are common pain points that can easily derail families and schools as they try to get children back to school. Here are some tips to help parents deal with school avoidance.
- Stay calm and supportive – Validate your child’s feelings and avoid punitive responses.
- Identify the underlying cause – Talk openly with your child, teachers, and school counselors.
- Keep routines consistent – A predictable schedule helps reduce anxiety.
- Work with professionals – A therapist can help your child build coping skills.
- Partner with the school – Create a gradual return-to-school plan if needed.
- Model healthy coping – Show your child how you manage stress in healthy ways.
How Embrace U Helps Teens Overcome School Avoidance
At Embrace U, we understand the emotional roadblocks that can keep teens from attending school. Our Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) and Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) provide a structured, supportive environment where your child can:
- Participate in group therapy to build confidence and social skills
- Receive individual therapy to address personal challenges
- Engage in family therapy to strengthen communication and problem-solving
- Have access to psychiatric evaluation and medication management if needed
Our programs give teens the tools to manage anxiety, depression, and stress—so they can return to school more confident, resilient, and ready to succeed.
Frequently Asked Questions About School Avoidance
Q: Is school avoidance the same as truancy?
No. Truancy is often related to willful skipping, while school avoidance stems from emotional distress or anxiety.
Q: Can school avoidance lead to long-term problems?
Yes. Left untreated, it can cause academic delays, social isolation, and worsening mental health.
Q: When should I seek professional help?
If your child’s school refusal lasts more than a few days or causes significant distress, it’s time to involve a mental health professional.
Take the First Step
If your child is struggling to face the school day, you don’t have to handle it alone. Contact Embrace U today and learn how we can help your teen or preteen build the skills they need for a brighter, more confident future. Call 833-733-4325 today.
