Social media has become a part of daily life that almost feels unavoidable for every age group. A statewide parent poll conducted by Vanderbilt University Medical Center found that 33% of Tennessee teens spend at least three hours a day on social media. If used in a healthy manner, social media can provide opportunities for connection, self-expression, and creativity, but if used without proper guardrails in place, it can become a contributing factor to adolescent anxiety, low self-esteem, comparison, and peer conflict.

“One of the biggest challenges is that adolescents don’t always get a break from what’s happening socially,” said Trevey Hewett, therapist at Embrace U Brentwood. “Something that starts at school can continue at home through social media or group chats, so it can feel like they’re constantly connected to those stressors.”

According to the U.S. Surgeon General’s 2023 Advisory Report on Social Media, up to 95% of teenagers in the United States use social media, with an additional 40% of children aged 8-12 years old. Additionally, nearly two thirds of teenagers reported using social media daily, while a third of teenagers said they were active on social media almost constantly. More locally in Tennessee, nearly 1,000 confirmed bullying cases during the 2023-2024 school year involved smartphones, electronic technology, or social media, according to the Tennessee Department of Education.

Now, more than ever, parents need to be proactive about their children’s social media usage, as well as setting up healthy time limits and checking in with children if noticing mental health issues arising.

Why Adolescents Are Especially Vulnerable

Adolescence is a critical period of development when young people are beginning to form a stronger sense of identity, independence, and belonging. At the same time, relationships with peers during this period take on a greater importance, making acceptance, social feedback, and rejection feel exceptionally significant. Social media can intensify those experiences by making peer interactions readily available 24/7, as well as turning social media approval into visible data points such as likes, comments, views, and followers.

“Adolescence is already a time when young people are figuring out who they are and where they fit in, and peer acceptance can feel extremely important,” said Hewett. “If a teen is already struggling with confidence of self-esteem, it’s easy for likes, comments, views, or followers to start feeling like a measure of their worth.”

The Positive Side of Social Media

While conversations about adolescents and social media often focus on potential risks, social media itself is not inherently unhealthy. When used in healthy ways, online platforms can give adolescents opportunities to maintain friendships, discover new interests, and learn from other users. For some young people, these connections can provide a meaningful sense of belonging that may be harder to find offline.

“For some teens, especially those who feel different of isolated, finding a community where they feel understood can be really meaningful,” said Hewett. “The goal is helping them use social media in a way that supports their well-being.”

Mental Health Risks and Negative Effects

That same feature that makes social media a source of connection can also make it difficult for adolescents to disconnect from social pressures. Friendships, disagreements, exclusion, and worries about what others think no longer necessarily end when the school day does. Group chats, notifications, messages, and posts can allow those experiences to follow adolescents home, sometimes creating a sense that they need to remain constantly aware of what’s happening on social media. That pressure to stay connected can also extend late into the night. Fear of missing out, responding too slowly, or not knowing what’s happening can make it difficult for some adolescents to put their phones down, which as a result interferes with sleep.

“An adolescent might feel like they need to check their phone because they’re worried they’ll miss something, or someone will be upset if they don’t respond,” said Hewett. “If they’re staying up late checking notifications or scrolling, they’re also losing sleep, and we know that being tired can make it much harder to manage emotions, stress, and anxiety the next day.”

The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory Report on Mental Health stated that adolescents who spent more than three hours a day on social media doubled their risk of experiencing mental health problems such as depression and anxiety, and that social media could perpetuate body dysmorphia, disordered eating, negative social comparisons, and low self-esteem, especially among adolescent girls. Adolescents are constantly being exposed to images of what they think they’re supposed to look like or how their lives are supposed to look like, not realizing that a lot of those images posted on social media are edited or carefully selected. If adults fall victim to these so-called “perfect lives,” where does that leave adolescents who are far more impressionable?

“Social media can create unrealistic expectations and contribute to negative self-talk or feeling like they aren’t good enough,” said Hewett. “I try to help teens recognize that what they’re seeing online isn’t always an accurate picture of someone’s real life.”

Building Healthier Social Media Habits

Helping adolescents develop healthier social media habits does not necessarily mean banning social media or focusing only on the number of hours they spend on their phones. How social media affects an adolescent may be just as important as how long they use it. Parents and caregivers can pay attention to changes in sleep, mood, friendships, self-esteem, hobbies, school, and other areas of everyday life to better understand whether online experiences may be affecting their well-being.

Things parents can ask themselves if they are worried about their child’s social media use can include:

• Is it interfering with their sleep?
• Are they withdrawing from things they normally enjoy?
• Does their mood noticeably change after being online?
• Are they becoming extremely anxious about what’s happening on social media?

“The impact of the behavior is often more important than just the amount of time spent online,” said Hewett. “One sign by itself doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a serious problem, but noticeable changes from your child’s normal behavior is worth paying attention to.”

Healthy boundaries can still be an important part of social media use, but conversation about those boundaries matter, too. Rather than immediately telling an adolescent they’re spending too much time on their phone, parents can ask how they feel after using social media or whether something happening online has been bothering them.

“I think curiosity works better than criticism,” said Hewett. “The goal is to create an environment where adolescents feel like they can talk about what’s happening without immediately worrying that their phone will be taken away.”

Here’s a list of actionable healthy habits that can be practiced with social media:

• Muting or unfollowing accounts that consistently make your child feel worse
• Taking intentional social media breaks
• Protecting sleep and keeping phones out of the bedtime routine
• Making time for friendships, hobbies, and activities that exist completely offline

“Notice which accounts make you feel connected, inspired, or supported and which ones consistently leave you feeling anxious, left out, or bad about yourself,” said Hewett. “Focus on things that help you feel good about who you are without needing likes or validation from someone else online.”

So, What’s the Verdict?

Social media isn’t inherently good or bad, and the goal doesn’t have to be eliminating it from your child’s life. Instead, focus on helping them build a healthier relationship with it. Keep an open line of communication, approach conversations with curiosity rather than criticism, and encourage habits that create balance between their online and offline worlds. Pay attention not only to how much time they spend online, but also how those experiences are affecting their mood, sleep, relationships, self-esteem, and everyday life.

If you’re concerned that social media may be affecting your child’s mental health, you’re not alone and you don’t have to navigate those concerns by yourself. Embrace U is here to help adolescents and their families develop the tools they need to manage anxiety, build confidence, strengthen healthy coping skills, and feel supported in their everyday lives. Contact Embrace U to learn more about our adolescent mental health programs and how we can support your family.