Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common type of psychotherapy. However, it doesn’t work for everyone. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is based on CBT, but it’s geared specifically toward people who experience very intense emotions. DBT has two main focuses:

• To help people accept the reality of their circumstances
• To help people learn to change their unhelpful thoughts and behaviors

DBT can help patients build coping skills to manage intense emotions and navigate social situations. Day-to-day life can be complex and messy, and working toward better mental health is an ongoing process. With DBT, your child can learn to recognize and acknowledge the flow of complex feelings without getting caught up in them. In this article, we’ll explain the ins and outs of DBT and how it can help your child.

What’s dialectical behavior therapy used for?

DBT was specifically created to help people who experience emotions very intensely. Originally, it was designed for people who were struggling with thoughts of suicide, but now it’s used for a much more comprehensive range of mental health conditions. Here are a few mental health conditions that DBT can help:

• Anxiety
• Binge-eating disorder
• Bipolar disorder
• Bulimia
• Depression
• Personality disorders, including borderline personality disorder
• Post-traumatic stress disorder
• Substance use disorder
• Self-harm
• Suicidal behavior

If your child struggles with highly intense emotions due to a mental health condition, their therapist may recommend DBT as part of their therapy treatment. If your child is contemplating suicide or self-harm, call or text 988, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, for immediate support.

What’s the goal of dialectical behavior therapy?

The idea behind dialectical behavior therapy is to help people navigate complex and intense feelings in a positive and healthy way. The main goals of DBT include:

• Acknowledging and accepting difficult or intense feelings
• Learning how to make positive changes in behavior
• Practicing skills to help manage those feelings

While learning to accept feelings may seem contradictory to making changes in behavior, those skills are both part of the dialectical or dual-sided nature of this type of therapy.

What does dialectical behavior therapy teach?

There are four main skills that DBT can teach. Here’s a list of those things and how they can benefit your child:

• Mindfulness — Mindfulness is the act of a person being fully aware and present in the world around them rather than obsessing over the past and the future. The goal of mindfulness is to acknowledge emotions while also understanding that they are changeable and fleeting. When your child understands that, it’s easier to stay grounded in the present rather than worrying about what has or might happen.

• Distress tolerance — Distress tolerance means that your child can understand and acknowledge their emotions in stressful situations without reacting harmfully. When they’re able to manage their emotions under stress, they’re less likely to:

• React impulsively
• Injure or harm themselves
• Turn to drugs or alcohol to numb their feelings

This doesn’t mean that they won’t still experience uncomfortable or intense emotions. When those emotions occur, the goal is for them to have the right coping skills to deal with those emotions without turning to negative or self-destructive impulses.

• Interpersonal effectiveness — Interpersonal effectiveness is all about learning how to communicate with others, ask for what one needs and set boundaries. These are important things for your child to learn, since communication can decrease resentment, misunderstandings and hurt feelings. The goal of interpersonal effectiveness is to learn how to:

• Communicate needs assertively
• Ask for help while maintaining respect for oneself and others
• Strengthen relationships through clear communication

Interpersonal effectiveness is a valuable skill that can help your child learn how to properly manage relationships in their life. This can help them not only ask for their needs to be met, but it can also help them set firm boundaries and learn how to navigate conflict effectively.

• Emotional regulation — As your child learns to listen to, acknowledge and understand their feelings, it can become easier for them to manage them. Emotional regulation strategies are a great way for them to learn how to control the intense emotions that may be disrupting their life. These feelings may not go away, but they will learn how to deal with them effectively so that an intense emotion doesn’t result in harmful or self-destructive behavior.

It can take time to cultivate these four skills, but learning and putting them to use can help your child gain better control of their intense emotions and help them live a more balanced life.

At Embrace U, our licensed clinical experts are trained in a number of therapies, including DBT. We can help your child learn how to acknowledge and overcome those intense feelings so that they can be more in control of their mental health. 

We offer a complete therapy program that combines a number of treatments to help adolescents aged 10 to 18 navigate their mental health challenges. If you’re ready to seek out more mental health options for your child, contact our team today for more information or to schedule an initial appointment.