As a parent of teens or pre-teens, it’s natural to wonder whether your child’s worries are simply part of growing up or signs of something more serious. More than 20% of Tennessee parents reported concerns that their child had undiagnosed anxiety in a poll conducted by researchers at Vanderbilt Center for Child Public Health. That same poll found that more than 50% of parents of children who had been diagnosed with a mental health condition reported that their child did not receive mental health services, while almost 30% of parents reported their children received treatment from a pediatrician or family doctor instead of a mental health provider.

“The mental health of kids in Tennessee is suffering, and parents are increasingly concerned,” Heather Kreth, PsyD, associate professor of pediatric psychology and a member of the Center, said in a report by Vanderbilt Health. “The number of children I treat who are suffering from severe depression, anxiety and thoughts of self-harm or suicide has been steadily increasing in recent years.” 

Adolescence comes with big changes: new responsibilities, social pressures, academic expectations, and developing independence, all of which can cause anxiety. But while some anxiety is a normal part of life, persistent or overwhelming anxiety shouldn’t be ignored. Understanding what’s typical and knowing when to seek support can help your teen or pre-teen build healthy coping skills and prevent anxiety from interfering with daily life.

Why Anxiety Is Common During the Adolescent Years

As adolescents develop, it’s expected that they’ll experience some anxiety as they encounter new situations. It could be due to developmental changes like brain development, hormonal changes, or identity formation, or it could be due to stressors like academic pressure, friendships and relationships, social media, sports and extracurriculars, family changes, or college prep.

“The adolescent years are full of change. Teens and pre-teens are trying to figure out who they are, where they fit in, and how they’re perceived by others, all while their brains are still developing. Add in social media, constant comparison, academic pressures, and peer relationships, and it’s no surprise that anxiety is so common during this stage of life,” said Rachel Dorner, therapist at the Mt. Juliet Embrace U location.

While some anxiety is expected, it’s important to note the difference between healthy levels of anxiety versus an anxiety disorder.

What Normal Adolescent Anxiety Looks Like

We all feel anxious from time to time. Whether you’re an adult or a child, feeling anxious is a part of life if there are healthy coping skills attached to it. Situational anxiety is most common among adolescents. Teens or pre-teens can feel anxious before a midterm or final exam; they can feel anxious if they’re starting a new school and need to make new friends, or they can have anxiety before performing in a dance recital or school play.

“Feeling anxious is a normal part of being human. It’s expected for a teen or pre-teen to feel nervous before a big game, a presentation, or walking into a new social situation,” said Dorner.

The characteristics of healthy anxiety levels match the situation, and as parents, it’s easy to rationalize your child’s anxiety before those types of big events. If your child’s anxiety comes and goes and doesn’t significantly interfere with their daily lives, then they are innately equipped with the tools to regulate their anxiety or have learned along the way.

When Anxiety May Be More Than “Normal”

Some warning signs of anxiety a parent should be concerned about could include:

• Constant or excessive worrying
• Avoiding school or social situations
• Frequent stomachaches or headaches with no medical cause
• Trouble sleeping
• Panic attacks
• Irritability or emotional outbursts
• Difficulty concentrating
• Declining grades
• Withdrawing from family or friends

“One of the biggest warning signs parents miss is irritability. Anxiety doesn’t always look like a worried child; it often looks like anger, snapping at family members, or becoming easily frustrated because fear is sitting underneath those behaviors. I also encourage parents to pay attention to isolation and avoidance. If your child is pulling away from friends, family, or activities they once enjoyed, that can be a sign that anxiety is beginning to take over,” said Dorner. “Some adolescents become very quiet or appear emotionally ‘flat,’ while others become oppositional or lash out because they feel overwhelmed and don’t know how to express what’s happening internally.”

How Parents Can Support an Anxious Adolescent

If you’re worried about your child’s anxiety, it’s natural to want to help them through or help support them. Parents can try to listen to and validate their feelings without trying to fix the situation. They can encourage healthy habits like getting proper rest, exercising, maintaining a balanced diet, limiting excessive screen time, or encouraging relaxation. Parents can help build coping skills instead of trying to eliminate every stressor. They can also keep communication open and avoid minimizing or ignoring the anxiety.

“One of the biggest things I want parents to know is that avoidance keeps anxiety alive. While it’s natural to want to protect your child from distress, consistently removing every uncomfortable situation can unintentionally reinforce the message that they can’t handle it. The goal is to provide support while gradually helping them face challenges. I also remind parents that kids are constantly watching how we manage our own emotions, our ability to stay calm, regulate ourselves, and model healthy coping often teaches them just as much as anything we say,” said Dorner.

When Should Parents Consider Therapy?

If you notice your teen or pre-teen showing signs of anxiety that are interfering with their daily lives and routines, it may be time to seek help.

Therapy may help if your child’s anxiety:

• Lasts for weeks or months
• Is becoming more frequent
• Causes avoidance
• Affects grades or relationships
• Prevents your adolescent from enjoying life
• Feels overwhelming for your family

“I always tell parents that you don’t have to wait until things reach a crisis point,” said Dorner. “If your teen’s anxiety is causing a noticeable decline in daily functioning, such as avoiding school or social situations, withdrawing from friends, having frequent panic attacks, experiencing physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches, struggling to sleep, becoming increasingly irritable, or no longer enjoying things they once loved, then it’s worth reaching out. Early support can prevent anxiety from becoming more disruptive and gives teens tools before unhealthy coping patterns become deeply ingrained.”

Embrace U Helps Anxious Adolescents

Some anxiety is a normal, and even healthy, part of growing up. It can motivate teens to prepare for challenges, try new things, and develop resilience. But when anxiety begins to interfere with school, relationships, sleep, or everyday life, it may be time for additional support. The earlier anxiety is recognized, the easier it is to treat. At Embrace U, our licensed therapists help teens, pre-teens, and families understand anxiety, build healthy coping skills, and navigate life’s challenges with confidence. If you’re wondering whether your child could benefit from therapy, we’re here to help.
Call us at 833-733-4325 or complete our intake form to find out how our programs can help your child struggling with anxiety.